How to Get Back Together

Do you honestly believe that certain affair relationships can last for long even if it's not good at all? If the relationship is based from infidelity where both of you came from a relationship which you chose not to be loyal, it is not easy to decide leaving the first relationship behind and just go on with the current one; what about your kids? your spouse? consider them first.

Indeed, a relationship that starts off from both of you making lies is so difficult to maintain and keep. First and foremost, TRUST is really a big problem. I mean, you both know that you've both cheated, how can you ever really be sure that you won't each cheat on each other? Okay, let's say you already conquer the issue of mistrust, how about those other issues in your life like the persons involved?

Are your kids involved with this problem? Dealing with your kids is the hardest part as a consequence of your action. No one wants to hurt their kids and it will be virtually impossible for the kids to ever feel warm fuzzies for the person who broke their other parent's heart (at least that's the way the kids will see it. More than likely they'll let their cheating parent largely off the hook and blame the other man/woman). More so, when no children involved, you still need to understand that your affair relationship is just like any other relationship, at start it's exciting, passionate and romantic, but can you really sustain such feeling?

The main reason of the feeling of freedom after leaving the other partner hanging is because there are no responsibilities attached for the time being. The day to day grind is almost always what slowly works it's way between couples and causes the problems. You have to be realistic enough to recognize that the very same thing will happen between the two of you over time. Your new partner may not be as good as new in 10 or 15 years from now.. just like what you felt in your original spouse.

With all those facts mentioned, there is still one important thing you need to ask yourself, do you still love your spouse? If you openly and honestly answer that you don't LOVE your partner anymore, then it's better to leave your partner as earlier as possible not because you can't wait to be free, but you are preventing an extreme pain to be felt by your him/her. If it comes to that, it's best for everyone involved if you don't let them know that the catalyst for the breakup is your affair. This is a personal secret so better be quiet. Just let your spouse know that the marriage is over and be as compassionate as possible.

It has been said that affair relationships do not seem to work for many, however, even if your roads met in the wrong way, as long as you both believe that you love each other and the past marriage is over for a long time, you can give it a try. More so, there's no point of causing insignificant pain this time, so you better keep your secret, that you met and you were together while your marriage was going on with the other person.